Happy Birthday

I like birthdays. I like fuss, a grand gesture. X can't understand the fuss. It's about upbringing, I think: his parents unceremoniously hand him something – not even wrapped – at some point within a few months of the date. I'm fairly sure they don't know when it is. For me, birthdays mean surprises, parties, over-excited children blowing out candles on sponge cakes. Like pencil marks on the wall, they are the backbone around which you hang family rituals. Birthdays are also a way to make up for the failings – perceived or real – of the past 12 months.

We didn't have the stomach for the last round. Absorbed in our own misery, X and I lumped the boys' birthday parties together, a swiftly expedited afternoon in a soft-play centre, a swiss roll with candles. It's hardly the stuff of misery memoirs, but it made me sad.

 

Now a year has passed and birthday season is upon us, for the first time as a separated family. The boys' birthdays are close together and it feels like a milestone; I want to do it right. On top of my normal birthday fixation, I know the last weeks have been very hard for the children. I am scarcely mother of the year at the moment: I have made no headway in trying to find a new job, which scares me stupid, and am still bruised and shocked from the accident. My temper is short and I cry a lot. I've seen a naked look of worry in the eldest's eyes and felt powerless to make it go away.

It's the youngest's birthday first. He takes after his father in this: he's not really bothered. He likes presents, of course, but doesn't have my – or his brother's –need to turn the day into a Busby Berkeley musical with a firework finale. Even so, I am determined to do it properly, to crank out the old family rituals and create new ones. He'll be at X's on the morning of his birthday, mine in the evening. We've said we'll have dinner together, agreed who should get him which present.

In preparation for the big day, I bring out the stalwart Women's Weekly cake book and canvass his opinion. "So which cake would you like? A robot? A train? A spider? I don't think I'd be very good at the castle but I'll give it a try."

He deflates my ambitions. "I just want a plain square one."

"Are you sure? That's easy. With sweets on it?"

He purses his lips in thought. "Ok." I think he's humouring me. I prod him further, and he chooses something for his birthday dinner, something he has every week. I rather admire how matter of fact he is. He's one of those children that asks for a calculator and a toothbrush for Christmas.

While he's at his father's, I make a square cake. I sneak his age on to the top in Smarties, then make another for school, with chocolate fudge icing. I wrap his presents and write his card. It's very quiet in the empty house and I don't have to hide the cake in a cupboard, or issue dire "Don't come into my bedroom!" warnings. There's no sense of anticipation, and I don't like it. It's even worse in the morning, the first time in years I haven't been woken at five on a birthday morning by an over-excited child. I don't want to do this again, I think, as I take the foil wrapped cake up the road to school.

The evening is better. I collect the boys from school and he opens his presents. Later, X comes round and builds some Lego while I make the requested boring dinner. We eat and then we light the candles, blow them out, take the obligatory pictures. The youngest is smiling his small, careful smile in them. It feels like a birthday, at last. We both need to be there, it turns out: after all, we both made him.

We'll know for next time.

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Lie to me

Everyone tells a lie on occasion. Some lies save relationships, some
ease a hectic situation, and others buy us time. Men lie to women.
Women lie to men. The fib "I had no signal" is said to be one of the
most common lies. You agree? Here we present some of the most popular
and interesting lies.
每个人都说过谎。一个恰当的谎言可能会挽回一段恋情，化解一个尴尬场面，或是为我们赢得宝贵的时间。男人对女人说谎，女人也对男人说谎。据说人们最爱拿"手机没信号"当借口了，你同意吗？今天我们就精心挑选了一些最常见最有趣的谎言跟大家一起分享。

[女人篇]
There are crucial differences in the lies women and men tell. A study
by a psychologist at the University of Virginia found that when women
lie, they tend to focus on making others feel better.
在编造谎言方面，女人与男人存在很大区别。弗吉尼亚大学一位心理学家的研究显示，女人撒谎主要是为了照顾对方的感受。

1.Nothing's wrong. I'm fine.
没事儿，我挺好的。
2.I won't get mad if you say I look fat.
你说我胖我也不会生气。
3.It doesn't bother me when you check out other women.
我不介意你盯着其他女人看。
4.I don't care how much money you have.
我并不在乎你有多少钱。
5.You're right.
你说得对。
6.I love sports.
我喜欢运动。
7.I wouldn't change a thing about you.
我不想改变你任何方面。
8.It's what I've always wanted.(See photo)
这个(礼物)正是我一直想要的。

[男人篇]
Compared with women, at the heart of many men's lies, however, is the
male ego. Men lie to build themselves up or to conceal something, the
study shows.
研究显示，比较而言，男人撒谎的根本出发点源自男性自我的一面：或是为了树立高大形象，或是为了掩饰。

1.I like your friends.
我喜欢你那些朋友。
2.You don't look fat in that dress.
你穿那条裙子不显胖。
3.Yes, I cleaned up already.
是的，我已经打扫过了。
4.She's just my friend. Stop doubting please.
她就是我的一个普通朋友，别瞎想了。
5.I love your cooking.
我爱吃你做的饭。
6.I'm not a jealous guy.
我不是一个好吃醋的人。
7.You look great in anything you wear.
你穿什么都好看。
8.I'll come shopping with you because I like to spend time with you.
我陪你一起逛街吧，我喜欢跟你呆在一起。
9.I only had two drinks.(See photo)
我就喝了两杯而已。

[手机篇]
Phone is building bridges between people, but it is also building ever
stronger walls since some use it to cover themselves.
手机给人与人之间的沟通提供了便利，但它有时也成为一种更坚固的壁垒，因为经常有人用它来为自己掩护。

1.My phone was on silent.
我电话当时设的静音。
2.I wrote your number down incorrectly.
我记错你号码了。
3.I'll call you.
我会给你打电话的。
4.Sorry, I missed your call.
对不起，没接着你电话。
5.I'll phone you back in a minute.
我待会儿给你打回去。
6.I've got a call on the other line.
又有人给我打进电话来了。
7.My battery died.
电池没电了。
8.I didn't get your text.
我没收到你的短信。
9.I had no signal.(See photo)
手机那会儿没信号。

[事业篇]
People around you may give you awful advice. They try to protect you
by shielding you from the possibility of failure, which also shields
you from the possibility of making your dreams a reality.
身边的人给你的热心建议可能并非都是"忠言"。他们试图保护你，使你远离任何失败的风险。殊不知，这样一来，你通往实现梦想的路也被堵死了。

1.You're totally screwed if it doesn't work out.
这事儿要是不成你就完了。
2.That's impossible.
那是不可能的。
3.Only a lucky few "make it."
只有少数的幸运儿才能成功。
4.You need more money saved before you can take the first step.
你需要再多攒些钱才能开始行动。
5.It's safer to stay at your day job.
还是继续做你现在的工作保险点儿。
6.You might fail. And failing is bad.
你可能会失败，后果会很糟糕。
7.You don't have access to the right resources.(See photo)
你没有通往成功所需的有利资源。

[其它]
1.The table will be ready in 5 minutes.
五分钟以后就开饭。
2.Things would have been different if I was there.
我当时要是在场就好了，肯定会是另外一个结果。
3.Yeah, I'll start working on that ASAP.
好的，我尽快去办。
4.If you tell me the truth, you won't get in trouble.
你跟我实话实说，我保你没事儿。
5.I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service.
我已阅读并同意遵守以上服务条款。

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Five Things You Can Start Doing Today to Change Your Life

"Everything is something you decide to do, and there is nothing you have to do."
Denis Waitley

"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything."
Win Borden

Hey!

Perhaps the most important thing you can do to improve your life is simply to do things. To take action and learn along the way.

Here are five suggestions for "do-habits" that are very helpful to adopt to radically improve your life.

1. Do it first thing in the morning.

How you start your day tends to have a big influence on that day. It sets the context in your mind. I believe that one key to better consistency and improvement in your life is what you do early in the day. Two ways to get a good start to your day are these:
Do the hardest/ most important/ most uncomfortable thing first in your day. If you start your day by doing it you will feel relieved. You feel relaxed and good about yourself. And the rest of the day - and your to-do list - tends to feel a lot lighter and easier to move through. It's amazing what difference this one action makes.
Start small. To get from a state where you just feel like sitting on your chair and doing nothing much to one where you take action over and over you can do this: start small. Getting started with your biggest task or most difficult action may seem too much and land you in Procrastinationland. So instead, start with something that doesn't seem so hard. One of my favorites is simply to take a few minutes to clean my desk. After that the next thing doesn't seem so difficult to get started with since I'm now in a more of a "take action" kind of mode. Experiment with this one and the previous tip and see which one that suits you the best. Or mix them up as you wish.

2. Do it one more time.

Don't give up too soon. It is very easy to give into feeling that you done something enough times and it will never work. You have tried it as many times as you would expect people to do. But these expectations I believe are often a bit unrealistic.

Society, TV and advertising tell us that there is an almost instant solution to any of our problems. You can easily lose 30 pounds within a month. Or with little work and time invested have another extra 20 000 dollars in the bank.

So it is not unreasonable to think that success will come quickly. But instead of doing something as many times as you think others have done it, talk to and read about people who have actually done what you want to do. This will give you a more realistic picture of reality.

Oftentimes you may have to do it more than one more time. But I have often found that doing it just one more time, doing it that extra time even though you may start to feel that this won't work, can bring the results you want in many cases. I actually feel a little bit of excitement sometimes when I feel like giving up because then I remember that at this point success is often not that far away.

3. Do the unusual thing.

When faced with a choice in your daily life, step back for a minute and think. Then take the option that is and feels unusual for you.

If you often back down just don't for this one time. If you are often get into arguments with people then just this one time don't and instead just let it go or treat the other person with kindness. Do the opposite of what you usually do and see what happens (while using common sense of course). Do something new and something you wouldn't expect from yourself.

This is a fun a great way to get new experiences and learn things you wouldn't if you kept going like you usually do.

Getting stuck in the same old routine until it becomes a rut can suck the life out of you. Doing the unusual thing in small and big situations, no matter how it goes, is a great way to feel alive again.

4. Do less.

How do you find time to do what you really want? How do you not get caught up in minor tasks and fill you day with them?

By setting limits. By being a bit ruthless and cutting down on the least important stuff. At some point you will probably have to be honest with yourself and realize that you can never fit all that you want into your day or week. Something has to go. Not only because it takes up time. But also because you only have so much energy, focus and creativity available during your day. If spend it on the less important things then all of that will be gone each day before you get to the big stuff.

It may not be fun to give up a couple of those TV-shows or hanging out on Facebook. But to make room for something new you sometimes have throw out a couple of old things.

5. Do your best.

Why should you do your best? Why not coast a bit and do just what is expected?

Three reasons:
You get better results. Sometimes immediately. Often not right away, but as all your awesome work adds up you start to see new and exciting results.
You raise your self-esteem. When you do what you think is the right thing - like doing your best - then your self-esteem goes up. If you just coast then you tend to feel kinda lame about yourself. So do awesome work and you feel awesome about yourself. Do OK work and feel OK about yourself.
Deservedness. When you feel awesome about yourself you do also feel like you deserve more in life. So you go after it and you won't self-sabotage as much when opportunities pop up.

From: http://www.positivityblog.com/

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A happy marriage

A man and his girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration.

All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. All had a wonderful time. The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.

A few months later, the wife came to the husband with a proposal, "I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage," she offered. "Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together."

The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with. The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.

"I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it, enough to fill three pages. In fact, as she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husband's eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing," the husband replied, "keep reading your list."

The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over the top of it.

"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists," she said happily.

Quietly the husband stated, "I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don't want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you." The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.

In life, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them. We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?

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