Helpless love

Once upon a time all feelings and emotions went to a coastal island for a vacation, and each was having a good time. Suddenly, a warning of an impending storm was announced and everyone was advised to evacuate the island.

The announcement caused sudden panic. All rushed to their boats. Even damaged boats were quickly repaired and commissioned for duty.

Yet, Love did not wish to flee quickly. There was so much to do. But as the clouds darkened, Love realized it was time to leave. Alas, there were no boats to spare. Love looked around with hope.

Just then Prosperity passed by in a luxurious boat. Love shouted, "Prosperity, could you please take me in your boat?"

"No," replied Prosperity, "my boat is full of precious possessions, gold and silver. There is no place for you."

A little later Vanity came by in a beautiful boat. Again Love shouted, "Could you help me, Vanity? I am stranded and need a lift. Please take me with you."

Vanity responded haughtily, "No, I cannot take you with me. My boat will get soiled with your muddy feet."

Sorrow passed by after some time. Again, Love asked for help. But it was to no avail. "No, I cannot take you with me. I am so sad. I want to be by myself."

When Happiness passed by a few minutes later, Love again called for help. But Happiness was so happy that it did not look around, hardly concerned about anyone.

Love was growing restless and dejected. Just then somebody called out, "Come Love, I will take you with me." Love did not know who was being so magnanimous, but jumped on to the boat, greatly relieved that she would reach a safe place.

On getting off the boat, Love met Knowledge. Puzzled, Love inquired, "Knowledge, do you know who so generously gave me a lift just when no one else wished to help?"

Knowledge smiled, "Oh, that was Time."

"And why would Time stop to pick me and take me to safety?" Love wondered.

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and replied, "Because only Time knows your true greatness and what you are capable of. Only Love can bring peace and great happiness in this world."

"The important message is that when we are prosperous, we overlook love. When we feel important, we forget love. Even in happiness and sorrow we forget love. Only with time do we realize the importance of love. Why wait that long? Why not make love a part of your life today?"

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3 Timeless Thoughts on Simplifying Your Life

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."

Leonardo da Vinci

 

Hi there!

 

One of the most important things I have done to improve my life over the last few years is to focus on letting go of many things and to simplify.

 

So today I would like to share a couple of great ideas about simplifying that have been with us for a long time. These are a couple of my own favorite thoughts about simplifying your life from the last 2500 years or so.

 

Focus on what is most important for you. Let go of the rest.

 

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."

Hans Hofmann

 

"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials."

Lin Yutang

 

"The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed - it is a process of elimination."

Elbert Hubbard

 

There are many things you can let go of. Both on the inside and the outside. I have for example let go of some busy work on the outside. I have greatly decreased the number of times I check email etc. each day and I have learned to use very short to-do lists with only 2-3 of the most important items instead of a dozen items or more.

 

On the inside I do my best to let go of trivial and petty stuff. I let go of negative stuff. I let go of trying to control the results of my actions. I let go of information and old self-images that don't serve me anymore. I always remember - or remind myself via a white board on my wall - to keep things extremely simple.

 

Here's one small and effective tip that helps me to let go: first accept that you are for example stuck in focusing on something trivial. Then let it go. Don't try to just reject what you are thinking or feeling because that will only make it harder to let it go.

 

By doing all this elimination on the inside and outside there is more room, time and energy for me to use for the most important things. And that makes life so much more interesting and fun.

 

A simpler life is one way to a happier life.

 

"Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves."

Edwin Way Teale

 

Society is to a large degree built on getting more.

 

To a degree this can be useful. But it may not be the thing that will solve all your problems.

 

You may not find your answer or happiness in more. It may just alter your troubles and problems. And/or give you more of them. What is already there inside of you perhaps gets highlighted and magnified when you get more. Instead of getting whatever you want when finally making all that money your wanted you may find that greed, jealousy and selfishness within you and in your world increases.

 

You may have thought that when you finally arrived at that place your problems would just disappear. But the ego wants more and is never satisfied.

 

So trying to fill your life and yourself up with more - money, stuff, power, smartness, prettiness, a feeling of being more enlightened than others - and then finally becoming happy may become like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in the bottom.

 

By simplifying and letting of a craving for more you can make your life happier and easier.

 

Get a life to create a simpler life.

 

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."

Confucius

 

"Simplicity is an acquired taste. Mankind, left free, instinctively complicates life."

Katherine F. Gerould

 

Why do people make life more complicated than it is? Well, one answer may be old habits that you need to let go of and replace.

 

Another answer is that your life isn't really that exciting. So you add drama and complications to make it more interesting and stimulating. That's at least what I used to do in the past.

 

But instead of doing that you can take the more difficult path and actually get a life.

 

If you find yourself sitting around too much and not having enough to do then it's very easy to get stuck in thought loops and go into a downward spiral. Simply by filling your life with more fun activities and people you become a lot more relaxed and have little time or patience for complications or drama from yourself or others.

 

So spend less time analyzing life and more time living and exploring it in whatever way you'd like. By doing so you are also often confronted with having to expand your comfort zones and perhaps face a fear. This leads to better self confidence and less fretting about if you can handle things that may come up.

 

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How to Get to Know Yourself Better: 3 Great Tips

"He who knows others is learned;

He who knows himself is wise."

Lao-tzu

 

Who are you? What is your daily and weekly life really about?

 

Those not always easy questions to answer. So today I'd like to share three tips that have helped me to get to know myself a bit better and to see my life more accurately.

 

1. What part of you do you see in them?

 

What we see in others is quite often what we see in ourselves. And what irritates us in people may be what we don't like in ourselves. What you judge in someone you are actually judging in yourself.

 

Therefore what you notice and what irritates you in others can teach you important things about yourself. Things you may not be aware of. In a way people can be like a mirror for you. A mirror that can help you to learn more about yourself, what you fear and how you may be fooling yourself.

 

So, what people generally irritate you? What do you often judge or criticize people for?

 

What can that tell you about you?

 

2. Do the unusual thing.

 

When faced with a choice in your daily life, step back for a minute and think. Then take the option that is and feels unusual for you.

 

If you often back down just don't for this one time. If you often get into arguments with people then just this one time don't and instead just let it go or treat the other person with kindness. Do the opposite of what you usually do and see what happens (while using common sense of course). Do something new and something you wouldn't expect from yourself.

 

This is a fun and great way to get new experiences and to learn things about the world and about yourself that you wouldn't if you kept going like you usually do. It's also a great way to be surprised about life as things often turn out more positively than in your fear filled daydreams if you just take action.

 

Getting stuck in the same old routine until it becomes a rut can suck the life out of you. Doing the unusual thing in small and big situations, no matter how it goes, is a great way to feel alive again and to reveal aspects of yourself that may have been hidden from you.

 

3. Journal.

 

Journaling is a fine way to get a more accurate picture of yourself and your life. A few ways that I have used journaling to get to know myself and my life are:

  • Journal about how you use your time. Just write down what you do during one day. Or during one week. Write down what you spend your time on and how much time you spend on each thing. You may, as me, be surprised about how much time you waste on procrastinating and pretty pointless busy work. Even if you may have an image of yourself as an effective person.
  • Journal about what you think. What do you think about during a normal day? Or a week? Write it all down. By doing so you can find recurring patterns of thought such as fears or maybe that you spend a lot of time regretting what happened in the past. Or you may find that you are actually a more positive person than you may think. This is a really interesting exercise because it can help you spot both positive things and negative things about yourself and just how accurate your current image of yourself is. You'll probably run into some surprises.
  • Journal about what you eat. I used this to lose weight. If you want to lose weight you have to consume less calories that you use. So how do you know what to eat and how much? You got to monitor it in some way. I used the free and very simple Fitday.com to monitor what I eat during the day. This is essential stuff. Because the three normal and most of the time actually pretty healthy meals I ate in the past consisted of the same amount of calories I used during the day. So little progress was made. To keep things within effective and healthy limits I think it's important to monitor what you do. But not to get obsessed about these things though. The main point is to keep an eye on what you are actually doing instead of guesstimating a whole lot.

 

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The Six Habits of Highly Ineffective People

Just like finding habits that can be useful for you it's important to find habits that are holding you back.

 

Most of these 6 habits can easily become such a normal, everyday part of life that you hardly notice them (or how they affecting you).

 

1. Not showing up.

 

Maybe you've heard this quote by Woody Allen:

 

"Eighty percent of success is showing up"

 

One of the biggest and simplest things you can do to ensure more success in your life - whether it is in your social life, your career or with your health - is simply to show up more. 

 

If you want to improve your health then one of the most important and effective things you can do is just to show up at the gym every time you should be there.

 

The weather might be bad, you might not feel like going and you find yourself having all these other things you just must do. If you still go, if you show up at the gym when motivation is low you will improve a whole lot faster than if you just stayed at home relaxing on the sofa.

 

I think this applies to most areas of life. If you write or paint more, each day perhaps, you will improve quickly. If you get out more you can meet more new friends. If you go on more dates you chances of meeting someone special increases. Just showing up more can really make a big difference. Not showing up will not get you anywhere.

 

2. Procrastinating half the day. 

 

To keep it short, two of my favorite ways to get out of a procrastinating state are:

  • Do the most important thing first. What this means is simply to do the hardest and most important task of the day first thing in the morning. A good start in the morning lifts your spirits and creates a positive momentum for the rest of the day. That often creates a pretty productive day.
  • How do you eat an elephant? Don't try to take it all in one big bite. It becomes overwhelming which leads to procrastination. Split a task into small actionable steps. Then just focus on the first step and nothing else. Just do that one until it's done. Then move on to the next step.

3. When actually doing something, doing something that isn't the most important thing right now.

 

One of the easiest habits to get stuck in, besides procrastinating, is to keep yourself busy with unimportant tasks.

 

To be effective you probably need some kind of time management-system. It might be something really simple, like using the 80/20-rule at the beginning of each day. The 80/20 rule, or the Pareto Principle as it's also known, says that you'll get 80 percent of your results from only 20 percent of your tasks and activities. So you need to focus most of your energy on those few important tasks to be effective.

 

When you have prioritized using this rule just write down the top 3 most important things you need to do that day. Then, from the top, start doing them. Even if you just get one of the things done then you have still done the most important thing you could do today.

 

However you organise your work it is of highest priority to find the most important tasks so you don't spend days, weeks or months doing busywork that isn't that essential anyway. Just getting things done faster isn't that useful if the things you get done are unimportant to you.

 

4. Thinking too much.

 

And thereby seldom taking action. Paralysis by analysis can waste years of your life. There is nothing wrong with thinking before you do something. Do some research, make a plan, and explore potential upsides and problems.

 

But compulsively thinking and thinking and thinking is just another way to waste your time. You don't have to examine everything from every angle before you try it. And you can't wait for the perfect time to do something. That time never comes. And if you keep thinking you'll just dig yourself down deeper and deeper and taking action will become more and more difficult. 

 

Instead you just need to stop thinking. Shut of your mind - it just helps you up to a point - and go do whatever you need to do.

 

5. Seeing the negative and downsides in just about anything.

 

When you see everything from a negative perspective you quickly punch a hole in your own motivation. You find faults everywhere and problems where there are really none. You cling to details. If you want to find a reason to not do something then that's no problem. From a negative viewpoint you can find ten reasons every time.

 

And so very little gets done, you whine to anyone who wants to hear - and many who don't - about how crappy your job, life and boss is. Which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as you create the life that is appropriate considering how think and see your world.

 

A solution is to realise the limits of a negative perspective. And that your perspective isn't some kind of 100% true picture of the world. Then try other perspectives. You can do so by using more helpful questions such as:

  • What is good about this situation? Or what is good about my life right now even though this one thing may have gone bad?
  • What can I learn from this situation?

6. Constantly on information overload.

 

With information overload I don't just mean that you read a lot. I pretty much mean an overload in all input. If you just let all information flow into your mind it will be hard to think clearly. It's just too much stimuli. A few more potential downsides to this habit are:

  • Some of the input you receive will be negative. The media and your surroundings often put a negative spin on things for various reasons. If you aren't selective about what input you want in your life then you'll be dragged into this negativity too. This affects how you think, feel and act.
  • It creates an urge to keep up with what's happening but there are always ten more things happening so you can't keep up. This makes life stressful.
  • It becomes hard to make decisions and take action if your mind is constantly bombarded with information or trying to sort through it all. Personally I find that if I get too much information it leads to a sort of paralysis. Not much gets done. Or you get stuck in habit #3 and keep busy, busy, busy at high speed with low priority activities.

To be able to focus, think more clearly and take action it's useful to be more selective about what you let into your mind. When you work shut out as much distractions as possible. Shut off the phone, internet and shut the door. It is strange how much you can get done when you aren't interrupted every fifth minute or have the opportunity to procrastinate by checking your inbox or Facebook.

 

Now I'm not suggesting that you should stop reading all websites or newspapers. But think about what you really want to read and what you read just read to fill your time. And have a look at other areas of input where the doors are wide-open.

 

For instance, you don't have to let in all the negative emotions from your surroundings. If everyone else are procrastinating or are anxiously keeping themselves busy by doing low-priority tasks at warp speed it's easy to be influenced by that mood and way of thinking. If you have a door, then it might be good idea to shut it and focus on doing more important things.

 

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How to Start Enjoying Life Again

No matter how perfect everything can feel and how awesome life can seem at times, things rarely stay that way. Let's face it, now and then we all experience the low points, and for some people, those low points can last a lot longer than anything else. You can tell just by looking at statistics which show that tens of thousands of people commit suicide each year around the world; for some people these low points just become unbearable.

I think there are some key aspects which can help people start to really enjoy life again, and make the most of the opportunities on this planet. In this post I want to look at what I think those aspects are and how you can incorporate them into your life.

Become Aware of your Mortality

I know that point heading doesn't sound very positive, but let me pan things out a bit. It's no secret that one day we are all going to die. Some of you may think we will be reincarnated, some may think we will go to heaven and some of you think we are spiritual beings in human form, and that's fine. However, all of us know that our current form won't last forever.

I've always been aware that I'm going to die someday, but I don't think I have ever really appreciated life. It wasn't until I became very sick last year and spent a week in hospital that the things which matter to me really became apparent, my health being one of them.

This is it. Make the most of the opportunity you have; life is completely what you make of it and is nothing more than an external reflection of your internal thoughts. If you start looking for the good in the world instead of focusing on the bad, I promise you will find it.

Make Notes of the Things that Matter to You

I used to be the kind of person that would read a blog post which asked you to do something, and kindly skip over the 'taking action' section. More recently, I actually took the time to write out a list of things I'm grateful for; some of the obvious items came up:

    * My family and friends

    * My health

    * Being able to eat properly every day

    * Having a roof over my head

    * Having people that care for me

And while these items are obvious, we take them for granted but miss them so much for example when they deteriorate (health) or disappear (wealth). Simply doing this will allow you to see all the great things in your life instead of all the negative aspects in your current situation which may be getting you down.

Realize Every Problem Can Be Accepted or Dealt With

I came across an interesting concept recently by one of my favorite teachers who said "problems are only memories" and that saying actually became the basis for an article I wrote. To make things a little more understandable, my saying is this: there is no problem that you have which can't either be dealt with or accepted. Every single problem will fit under one of those two options.

"But I don't want to accept the things I cannot change" is a response I received from a lot of people when first mentioning this idea. "OK, so you are going to get angry, cry and stress yourself out about something that...you can't do anything about?" - It just doesn't make any sense. If you can change something you don't like then by all means work towards doing that, but otherwise accept what is and focus on other things that matter to you.

Set Yourself a Long Term Goal You Can Be Passionate About

I've worked hard with my online properties in the last few years and was lucky enough to be able to quit my job at the beginning of this year to work for myself full-time. I've noticed that now I'm at this stage I literally jump out of bed in the mornings excited to work on the projects that I have a real passion for. I've come to realize that it doesn't take quitting your job in order to be excited about waking up in the mornings; you just need something you can focus on that you are passionate about.

Maybe you want to lose weight, maybe you want to learn a new language or even learn to play an instrument. Pick a long-term goal that you can give some time regularly, something that really matters to you. The most important aspect to making this work in your favor is by opening your life up to being able to work on the things you enjoy. After-all, this is a goal you WANT to achieve and it is something you really CARE about.

What could be a better way to spend your time?

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