Happiness at Work

If you are a relatively junior employee at your company, though you carry out a very important role, you may not always be recognised. You might also face some of the following challenges:

Little fulfilment at work

Long working hours

Conflicting demands on your time and loyalty

Little balance between personal life and work commitments

Tight deadlines

Management pressures

Strained relationships with the important people in your life

Tight personal finances

Lack of any say at work

Internal politics and a rigid company structure

Bullying within the workplace

Few promotional opportunities

You are therefore faced with a number of dilemmas in your workplace.

On the one hand you want to be involved in rewarding, enjoyable and fulfilling work, get recognition and promotion for your efforts, and be appreciated for the key role you play in the company.

On the other hand you want a balanced life with time for the things you really want to do with a full and interesting social life. Of course you want to have clarity about your career, job duties and you want to continue to be healthy, fit and stress free.

So what's the best way forward?! How can you too achieve a zen like Happiness at work?

One key to resolving these seemingly conflicting challenges is to get clear about just how much you love the work you do. Is what you do something you jump out of bed every morning, or would you rather be doing something else?

How motivated are you with your work? And how do you cope with the day to day routine office work?

A UK survey last year found that almost 2 out of 3 people are dissatisfied with their jobs. And I am sure there is a similar situation in the USA and other parts of the developed world. This means that they are either apathetic about finding what they really love doing or they are resigned to being in this situation.

No matter how good things are in other parts of your life such as family, social life and relationships, work is a major part of your life, and not to be neglected.

Since for now you have chosen to be in the job you are in, it is up to you for the time being to make the most of what you do. Of course in the long term, you can either change your job or even embark on a new career. But for now, you can get to love more of what you do right now.

Assuming that in the short term you are not able to change jobs, there are a number of things you can do to begin enjoying more of what you currently do. Ask yourself - is it the job or is it you? And what can you do to make your current work more enjoyable?

Stop acting the victim. YOU are responsible for your life and if you can't immediately change the job you are in, then it is up to you to make the most of it.

Here are some simple tips for getting to enjoy your current job.

1. On the way to your workplace, get yourself motivated to face the day. Think of how the work you have allows you to have your life outside of it, such as a great social life. A positive attitude will make the day more pleasant and productive.

2. Keep your work in perspective. You can only do the best you can in each situation. Look beyond yourself and your work, and consider the bigger picture. Do some voluntary work to gain a broader outlook. Find a way to contribute to society in general.

3. Remember that you are more than your work. Do not have your identity too strongly tied to the job you do. Give up thinking that your work life "should" be a certain way. Such expectations of what you were supposed to be, as set by your parents and teachers, stop you from enjoying what you currently do.

4. Plan your time. In your to-do list include long term projects as well as the more imminent things that need doing. Prioritize your to-do list - do the most important things first. When performing any task, ask yourself - is this the best use of my time? Schedule in enough time for your studies etc.

5. Concentrate on the task at hand. Do not let yourself be distracted by worrying about all the other things to be done or losing energy over the undesirable situation you find yourself in. Stay in the moment.

Be ruthless and take care of a task before it gets on a possible procrastination list. For example, sort your morning post immediately in one go � open it, file it, act on it or bin it there and then.

6. Clarify anytime you are not sure or where you are faced with conflicting demands. The more clear and upfront you are with your manager and the other people you work with, the better it will be for you in the long term.

7. Delegate wherever appropriate. Decide if there is anything that can be delegated, or that more fairly belongs to someone else's work load. Always remember the "3D" rule � do it, dump it or delegate it - never handle a piece of paper twice.

8. Have regular breaks. Get away from your normal workplace even if only for five minutes. Try taking a break from the laptop , emails and do leave the mobile behind. Make sure that you do have that lunch break � it is not just for food but also for fresh air and a mental break.

Eat a healthy lunch and if you must snack, make sure it is healthy too � an apple rather than a bag of chips. Look for ways of energizing yourself other than from adrenaline and caffeine.

9. Learn to relax no matter how challenging the work gets or how demanding your bosses become. At the end of the day it is only a job, and you are much more than that. In years to come, you will look back and wonder what the fuss was.

10. Contribute towards creating a pleasant work environment. Do not gossip in the office as it just creates negativity all around. Do not listen to any gossip either. Minimize your time with people that you do not resonate with or like.

Learn to have more fun at work. Laugh more and chill out. Perform with a more fun orientated approach.

11. Review your day before you leave for Home. Look at what worked well, and what could be improved the next day. If you feel satisfied with the day's work, then why not reward yourself later that day. You deserve it.

12. Switch off once you leave work. You are already at work a third of your time, so do not continue to keep it buzzing in your head during your supposed free time. Mentally say good bye to your work space the moment you leave for Home.

See your work as a game. life is meant to be fun and if you are going to spend a third of it at work, you might as well enjoy the game.

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Choosing a career over love

The choice between having a career or making time for love is an extremely personal and individual decision. There are many factors which can affect your choice, and there are many people who have discovered how to achieve a healthy work life balance that allows them to have both.

Careers and love fulfill us in different but important ways. Having a solid career gives us a sense of accomplishment and self worth, aside from the practicalities of paying the bills. Many people develop their entire identity based upon what they do, elevating their career to a level of great importance in their lives.

Then there are those who measure their success in terms of having a pleasant and rewarding Home life. They develop their identities based upon the accomplishments of their children, and derive their self worth through the love and support of a spouse.

So what happens if you cannot or do not wish to make room in your life for both? While the happiest and healthiest people have managed to develop a work life balance that allows for both, it may not be for everyone. Consider these factors when pondering which is more important for you.

1. Your career May be More Important When You are Young

Many people these days focus on careers first and family later. The reasoning is that, while you are young and unencumbered, you have the time and energy to fully devote yourself to a career. If you have lofty career ambitions while you are young, it may indeed be the time to start making progress towards those goals.

Once you get married and begin to build a family, much of your time and energy � by necessity � becomes devoted to your family. This is as it should be. You should not start a family unless you are willing to devote time and attention to your loved ones.

Many people who accomplish great success in their careers when they are young, and establish themselves in a secure position, are then more willing and comfortable later on to devote themselves to family. By the time they do settle down, they are more prepared to handle the responsibility.

2. Falling in Love can be Better When You are Older

More and more people these days are choosing to wait when it comes to making decisions about family. It is not unusual for people to delay marriage until their late 30's or even their early 40's. Delaying family decisions allows you to be better prepared for those obligations, and creates a better likelihood that you are in touch with your most important goals and values. You have had the opportunity to completely grow up, greatly reducing the chances of feeling like you are "missing out." You have had the chance to purge the foolishness of youth from your system and are now confident with the wisdom of maturity.

3. Choosing Both If you can find a work life balance that allows you to experience the joys of love and maintain a successful career, you will have a truly happy and rewarding life. A loving family at Home can help you celebrate all of your successes, and bolster your confidence through your failures. There are many people out there reaping the tremendous rewards that come with including love and work in their lives, and finding the balance that allows for both.

A life that only has room for a career, or that includes a consuming love that stifles your personal development, is likely not a lifestyle that is healthy or fulfilling. Our personal needs and feelings of self worth need to be met, which is normally gained from having a good career. Our hearts and souls need to be nourished, and we need companionship to support us through life, which normally are derived from loving relationships.

The truly healthy and well balanced person will recognize the benefits of having both. He or she will take steps to achieve the work life balance necessary to assure the continuation of career growth while nurturing and maintaining the health of personal relationships. It is only when we can maintain this delicate balance that we are living life to its greatest potential.

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The truth about money and happiness

It is an oft repeated axiom that money cannot buy happiness. While this is certainly true, poverty will not buy Happiness either. Some people become very wealthy, yet struggle to enjoy their lives. On the other hand, others manage to go through life with very few money problems simply because they are able to make the most of what they have.

Ideally you should try to combine both prosperity and Happiness. To do this I recommend the following steps:

1. Learn to Value Simplicity The aim of life should not be to accumulate as many possessions and as much wealth as possible. We should learn to be content with what we have and appreciate the benefits of simplicity. For example, if we clear out our unnecessary clutter we will achieve a greater feeling of space and freedom.

If you feel happiness is directly related to material possessions, you are making a mistake. Happiness can be gained just through being content with a small amount of possessions. Our inner wealth is not just about what we have, but what we are content to live without.

2. Do Not Be Attached to Your Money Does it pain you to spend your own money - even if it is for something useful? Even someone like Bill Gates can feel uncomfortable spending his billions; it is said he used to always travel economy class because he didn't see the need to spend more money on first class. The problem with this, however, is that if we are always reluctant to spend money we miss the whole point of earning it.

A good attitude is to see money as a circular flow - that is, spending money enables more to come into our lives. It is not like a big dam where we just try to hold onto it all. We need to let the money out by spending on useful and necessary things. It is no good having a stockpile of water unless we use it to generate power; similarly it is no use accumulating large savings if we we feel miserable spending it.

3. Minimize Money Worries We will be happiest if we can make money a small part of our lives, and think about money issues as little as possible. To be able to do this we need to avoid creating situations of debt as getting out of debt can be difficult and stressful. Learn to live within your means by avoiding impulsive overspending. If you do need to go into debt, plan ahead and find a loan which is clear and manageable to repay.

Try to avoid complicated and risky investment plans; these give you the potential to gain more, but you will also have the potential to lose a lot more. Good financial planning should be simple and well balanced; this means your nerves will not be affected by worrying about the outcome of your investment. It is better to invest and save in something secure so you can forget about it and not worry endlessly.

4. Avoid Jealousy No matter how much money you have, do you still envy people who have more? A recent survey asked people whether they would prefer to have a salary above the national average. Alternatively, they could choose to have a higher salary, but this higher salary would be lower than the average. A surprising amount of people chose to have a lower salary as long as it meant they were relatively better off than the rest of the population.

To me this makes no sense. If other people become wealthier than you, that is no reason to be unhappy. If other people are prosperous that is good; don't feel miserable just because you cannot keep up with the Joneses.

5. Don't Live to Work. Do you find yourself working overtime in the evenings and at the weekend? If you spend all your time working, you will have no opportunity to spend your earnings. Don't feel guilty for turning extra work down; it is important to give leisure time as high a priority as work. It is good if we can gain satisfaction from work, but if we only spend time working then our life lacks a proper balance.

6. Understand Why Are Some People Always Poor I'm sure most people will have good friends who always seems to have money concerns. No matter what happens they always seem to be short of money and they frequently share tales of financial woe. The lack of money makes them unhappy, but they don't know how to change the situation. Giving them money doesn't solve the problem because they continue to make bad financial decisions.

Part of the problem lies in their mindset. It is easy to become accustomed to being poor and then half expecting the poverty to continue. With this mindset, it becomes difficult to attract money into our lives and easy to develop feelings of self pity and regret. However, while we might be unfortunate it won't do anything to resolve the situation. The secret is to try and change our habits and approach to money. Also, be wary about trying to convert others to better financial habits - it is almost guaranteed to fail.

7. Ignorance is Not Bliss Another attitude to money is to try and avoid thinking about it. We ignore the true extent of our debts, spending and leaving unpaid bills. We frequently miss out on moving to better financial deals and make late payments which harm our credit rating. By ignoring money like this, we merely create more serious problems for the future.

Also, when we put off dealing with financial problems we carry the problem in the back of our mind. We can get no peace of mind because we permanently have a long list of things to deal with. It is better in these circumstances to promptly deal with things like paying bills and sorting out your accounts - then we can forget about them.

8. Develop A New Perspective The following are some money related questions you should ask yourself:

Am I happy with my financial situation? Would more money make my life better? Do I always have financial problems hanging over my head? Is money the most important thing in my life? Is the pursuit of money making me miserable? Would I sacrifice principles to make more money? Even just answering these questions honestly may encourage a new perspective towards money.

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Luck hat

Dear Arizona,

My brother is so lucky. Good stuff is always happening to him. Do you believe in luck? And if so, how can I get more of it?

―Looking for luck in Louisiana

Dear Looking,

I was eating breakfast with one hand, petting my cat, Cow, with the other, and reading the back of the cereal box, when―"YOUCH!" I screamed. "Why'd you pinch me?"

"You're not wearing green," said my little brother, Tex. "Everyone knows you get pinched if you don't wear green on Saint Patrick's Day!"

"It's true," said my little sister, Indi.

I was mostly mad about getting pinched, but also a tiny bit glad about being reminded that it was Saint Patrick's Day.

I panicked. "What am I going to do? I don't have time to change. I'll get pinched all day long!"

"Well," Tex said, taking the old green baseball cap off his head, "you could borrow my lucky hat."

"But it's your favorite!" I said.

"I know," said Tex. "Just promise to give it back after school."

"No problem," I said, glancing in the mirror on my way out the door. "I look like a goofball in this thing!"

"A lucky goofball!" said Tex.

"Humm." I grabbed my backpack. "Thanks, I think."

Now, before I go on, you should know that I'm not an overly superstitious person. I don't believe that thirteen is an unlucky number or that breaking a mirror brings seven years of bad luck.

I definitely don't freak out if a black cat crosses my path. And when it comes to things like lucky four-leaf clovers and lucky pennies, I just never believed in them.

Anyway, I was racing to catch the school bus, and I saw a dollar on the sidewalk! I looked around to see if anyone was looking for it, but people just kept stepping on the poor thing, so I decided to rescue it. I'd found pennies and nickels before, but never a dollar!

Then, I didn't miss the bus, because the bus was even later than me――which never happens!

My luck didn't stop there. Carlos and Jackson were sitting behind me, quizzing each other on spelling words. I turned around and said, "You guys know that test isn't till tomorrow, right?"

"It got switched to this morning," said Jackson. "Remember? There's some assembly tomorrow."

"That's right-I totally forgot!" I said. "I'm so lucky that I sat in front of you. If I hadn't , I wouldn't have found out till it was too late!"

I got out my spelling words, studied all the way to school. And ended up acing the test!

The minute I got home, I gave Tex a gigantic hug.

"This is the luckiest hat in the world," I said. "I'm never taking it off!"

"But you promised to give it back!" said Tex.

"I know, but…" I pretended to try to pull the hat off my head. "I think it's stuck."

"It is not!" said Tex.

"Please-oh-please let me borrow your lucky hat for one more day!" I begged. "Tomorrow I'm auditioning for the school play, and I need every bit of help I can get."

"OK," said Tex. "One more day. But you'd better be really nice to me."

"I will," I agreed. "In fact-here you can have my lucky dollar!"

Tex let out a whoop, then started dancing around and waving his gift in the air.

The next day turned out to be super lucky. My audition couldn't have gone better.

"Wow, Arizona!" said my friend Mareya. "I can't believe how amazingly you just did! You are so getting a major part in this play!"

"Thanks! You did really great, too!" I said. "But honestly, the only reason I did OK is because I had my lucky hat."

"What lucky hat?" asked Mareya.

"This one," I said, reaching into my backpack, where I thought I'd put Tex's hat since I couldn't wear it for the audition. But it wasn't there! "Oh no!" I cried. "It's gone! What am I going to tell Tex?"

Mareya helped me look for it. Luckily, we found Tex's hat in my locker. Also luckily, I discovered that I could be lucky with or without a goofy-looking cap in my possession.

"So it wasn't the hat," said Mareya. "This is just a wild guess, but maybe it was all those hours you spent practicing over the past month."

"Hmm," I said. "It's possible."

So, dear Looking, I guess you could say that luck is a combination of being prepared, believing in yourself, … and maybe just a tiny bit of magic! In other words, luck may come your way, but you have to be ready for it when it does!

Ciao for now

Arizona

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Christmas: giving and sharing

The spirit of giving and sharing - not only this Christmas season but all year round

The spirit of giving and sharing is at its peak during the Christmas season. People are so generous to dole out gifts, money and other things to people they care about, and at times to charity, too. This innate feeling in us is always there. It's not only for special seasons like the holidays that we should be able to give and share whatever we have in abundance. It must likely be the instinctive feeling in us that we should be willing to share and give something all year round especially to those who are in need.

The holiday feeling is all around us. The malls are all decorated with pretty and shiny Christmas decors all around. There's happy Christmas music being heard all over the place. A lot of people are shopping because there are lots of sales and discounts offered. The traffic has gone from bad to worse and more people line up in the bank to get money for their shopping spree. Everybody seems to be in a happy mood complementing the Christmas holiday feeling.

Okay, this is the season where there is a lot of sharing and giving. We would be having parties in our companies and family gatherings where we would have gifts for everybody. There would be plenty of good and delicious foods around and the merry making would last till late into the night. Having said that, we may have to stop for a while and think why we are all in the celebration mood. It's Christmas and it's Jesus' birthday and that alone is enough reason to celebrate.

However, if we take time to find the other meaning of Christmas in its simplest term, it is a season to thank God for everything we have for this year. It would be nice to give back to Him through the spirit of sharing and giving to those who are less fortunate in their life.

In my church, our parish priest encourages all parishioners to share some of their blessings to people who have less. There are requests for used clothing, some canned goods and other goodies stuff to be donated to some charities. The usual charities would be children's orphanages, home for the aged, for prisoners in a nearby prison area and for the sick that are still confined in government hospitals. The response has always been very positive and our parish priest can only express gratitude by blessing all of us in church and promising to pray for all of us throughout his lifetime. That would be truly reassuring since we have in our community many priests aside from our main parish priest who would continuously pray for all of us!

The spirit of sharing and giving is innate in all of us. It is just a matter of discovering it in you and finding this deep inside you. If you have found it in your heart to share and give not only during Christmas, but every time you are have the chance to do so, then you are so blessed. I truly believe that giving even only a little is already a lot of help. That wholeheartedness of sharing and giving would come back to you in some other way. You'd be surprised that more blessings would come your way. It may be an unexpected promotion, some problems being solved on their own, some financial help coming from somewhere unexpectedly and a lot more. I'm speaking from experience. I've been blessed so many times from this sharing and giving habit that I have in me.

I try to give what I can no matter how little. I do this thru my church. Everything goes with a prayer that hopefully the people who get these little things would be happy even only for a while. That thought makes me happy, feeling at peace that somehow I was able to do something for people even though I don't know them.

Hopefully, everybody would give a little help. The spirit of sharing and giving doesn't mean that you are spoiling these people thru charity. It's not that; it's just that these people may feel helpless at times, hopeless most of the time and this is where we can come in, that we can show them that we care, we can give them hope and something to live for in their life. It is our way of showing them that their life is worth caring for so that they should be inspired to do better in their life. Thankfully, there is always the goodness in all of us; all we have to do is make use of it this Christmas and through out the years to come.

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Add a green message to your email from today

You've probably seen the message, "Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail," at the end of e-mails you receive.

Adding a green message to your e-mail signature can be an effective way to draw notice. After all, the people you're e-mailing know you. If you care about the environment, they may wonder what more they can do as well.

Here's a story to illustrate my point. Michael, that's my husband in case you didn' know, added an e-mail signature like the one above to his work e-mails. Others in his department started doing the same. In a staff meeting, the organizer said something like, "Well, I didn't print out an agenda for everyone this time because of all that save-the-paper messages in your e-mails. I wrote it on the board instead."

That's a small, but great change. E-mail signatures can help people think. Now here's something for you to think about:

Do you actually refer back to those e-mails you print? How often can you make PDFs of documents instead of printing them?

Here are some e-mail signatures I came up with just for you to consider:

•If you hug a tree, you'll be hugged back twice. Please think about not printing this e-mail.

•Trees like you, so please wink back by not printing this e-mail.

•Love a tree, don't hit print.

•Make sense, not waste. Don't hit print.

•Ask me why you should think twice before printing this e-mail.

•Does e-mail make us print more than we did before?

•You're too smart to print this e-mail.

•Lower your impact today by not printing this e-mail.

•Even recycled paper takes energy to make. Do you really need to print this e-mail?

If you have a green e-mail signature, please tell us about it.

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Just for today

Just for today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes.

Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways. I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out: If anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do-just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt: they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, and try not to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today I will have a program, I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

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How to be a friend of yourself

Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

We often focus on building relationships with others that we forget the essential first step: being friends of ourselves. That is the crucial first step if we are to have good relationships with others. How can we have good relationships with others if we don't even have good relationship with ourselves?

The problem might be worse than we expect. Maybe we don't like ourselves without realizing it. Here is a simple checklist; is there anything you don't like about yourself from these list?

Your past

Maybe you have made mistakes in the past which you feel bad about. You might be disappointed with yourself on why you could make such mistakes. Even if that happened in distant past, your subconscious mind still has a reason not to like yourself.

Your background

You might wish that you were born in different family, or that you have different background. Maybe you could not accept the fact that you are not as lucky as others, who seem to get whatever they want effortlessly because of their background.

Your personality traits

You might have some personality traits that you don't like. For example, you may be an introvert and you don't like it; you wish you are an extrovert.

Your achievements relative to others Others might have better achievements than you, and no matter how hard you tried, it might seem impossible for you to match them. You might then think that it's because you are not smart enough or don't have enough talents. Is there anything that resonate with you? All these give reasons to you not to like yourself. That in turn makes it difficult for you to be a good friend to yourself.

Fortunately, there are always things you can do to fix the situation. Here are some tips:

1. Forgive yourself

You may have made those mistakes in the past, but is there anything you can do about them? I don't think so, except learning from them. It's true that you are not perfect, but neither is everybody else. It's normal to make mistakes, so do yourself a favor by giving yourself forgiveness.

2. Accept things you can't change

There are some things you cannot change, such as your background and your past. So learn to accept them. You will feel much relieved if you treat things you can't change the way they deserve: just accept them, smile, and move on.

3. Focus on your strengths

Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. You always have some strengths which give you a unique combination nobody else have. Recognize your strengths and build your life around them.

Health Top Tips Nutrition Lifestyle

4. Write your success stories

One reason we may not like ourselves is we are too focused on what we don't have that we forget about what we have. So make a list of your achievements; write your success stories. They do not have to be big things; there are a lot of small but important achievements in our life. For example, if you have some good friends, that's already an achievement. If you have a good family, that is also an achievement.

5. Stop comparing yourself with others

You are unique. You can never be like other people, and neither can other people be like you. The way you measure your success is not determined by other people and what they achieve. Instead, it is determined by your own life purpose. You have everything you need to achieve your life purpose, so it's useless to compare yourself with others.

6. Always be true to yourself

You don't like other people lying to you, right? Similarly, you won't like yourself if you know that you lie to yourself. Whether you realize it or not, that gives your mind a reason not to like yourself. That's why it's important to always be true to yourself. In whatever you do, be honest and follow your conscience. Remember this quote by Abraham Lincoln:

I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end . . . I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me.

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Love in all life

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

 

A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone- but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

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Poem by an African kid

 

This poem was nominated by UN as the best poem of 2006, written by an African kid.

When I born, I black

When I grow up, I black

When I go in Sun, I black

When I scared, I black

When I sick, I black

And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow

When you born, you pink

When you grow up, you white

When you go in sun, you red

When you cold, you blue

When you scared, you yellow

When you sick, you green

And when you die, you gray

And you calling me coloured?

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make you bold

If you’re shy, hesitant, or passive, you run the risk of leading a boring life marked by routine and unfulfilled goals. Most progress has been led by people who were bold–scientists, political servants, artists, and others who didn’t wait for opportunities; they created opportunities. So if you want to be bold and unstoppable, here are some ways to kick start your momentum.

1. Pretend you’re already bold.

If you were to switch places with somebody who is as bold as bold can be, what would they do in your shoes? If you already know someone who’s bold, imagine how they’d act. If you don’t know anyone like that, think of a character from a movie or book who’s daring and brave. Spend one hour a day or one day a week pretending to be them.

When you do this, go somewhere that people don’t know you and won’t act surprised when you do things that are out of character. Go through the motions and see what happens — you might discover that amazing things happen when you’re bold, and you might be convinced to carry this bold behavior into your everyday life.

2. Make the first move.

Whenever you’re feeling hesitant–especially in your interactions with others–swallow your pride and make the first move. Ask your acquaintance if they’d like to go to the bar down the street for drinks after work. Tell the person you fancy that you’ve got two tickets to a concert and you’d like them to come with you. Give your significant other a big hug and apologize for that time you overreacted a few months ago. Smile and wink at the attractive cashier.

3. Do something unpredictable.

What could you do that would completely surprise the people who know you? Wear high heels? Skydive? Take a dance class? Bold people aren’t afraid of trying new things, and one of the reasons they’re so exciting to be around is that they keep you guessing.

You can start small, perhaps by wearing a color or style of clothing that you don’t normally wear, or visiting a place you normally wouldn’t visit. Eventually, you may get to the point where you entertain ideas that make other people’s eyes widen when you mention them (”Are you serious? White water rafting?” or “You’re kidding me. You want to buy that restaurant on 3rd Street?”).

4. Ask for what you want.

Rather than wait to be recognized for your efforts, or expect someone to consider your needs, step right up to the plate and ask.

Some people feel that asking for things is greedy, selfish, and rude — and it is, if you’re asking for something you don’t deserve. But if someone is withholding something that you’ve rightfully earned, they’re the ones being greedy, selfish, and rude.

Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? They say no. Life goes on.

Ask for that promotion or pay raise you’ve been waiting (and working) for.
Ask for a discount. A little haggling can go a long way. The phrase “What can you do for me?” is an easy and powerful way to save money.
Ask to have your credit card’s annual fee waived.
Ask a relative, friend, or even a complete stranger for help or advice.
Ask for clarification if you’re not sure what is expected of you.
5. Take risks.

There’s a difference between being reckless and accepting risks. Reckless people don’t accept risks… they don’t even think about them. A bold person, on the other hand, is well aware of the risks, and has decided to go through with the decision anyway, ready and willing to accept the consequences if things don’t work out.

Think of an athlete who takes risks every day. Are they reckless? No. It’s a measured risk. You might make a mistake; we all do. But inaction can be a mistake as well, one that leads to emptiness and regret. For many people, having taken risks and fallen flat on their faces was far more fulfilling than having done nothing at all.

Likewise, don’t confuse being bold with being aggressive. Aggressiveness often involves imposing your viewpoints or actions on others. Boldness has nothing to do with the people around you; it’s about overcoming your fears and taking action.

Remember that while there’s power in taking on something new, there’s also a greater chance of failure because of your lack of experience. Embrace the failure; it’s not the opposite of success, it’s a necessary component. The opposite of success is sitting still.

6. Rediscover who you are.

Ultimately, boldness has to do with coming from your center, what you believe. It is not about what you do, it is about who you are. If you do not know who you are, you can never be truly bold.

Start really appreciating your uniqueness. Discover what makes you different and then parade it around for all to see. Put flags on it, call attention to it and love yourself for it no matter what others think. That is the heart of boldness.

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An Empty Box

Once upon a time, a man punished his 5-year-old daughter for using up the family's only roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became even more upset when on Christmas Eve, he saw that the child had pasted the gold paper so as to decorate a shoebox to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the next morning the little girl, filled with excitement, brought the gift box to her father and said, "This is for you, Daddy!"

As he opened the box, the father was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction.

But when he opened it, he found it was empty and again his anger flared. "Don't you know, young lady, " he said harshly, "when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package!"

The little girl looked up at him with tears rolling from her eyes and said: "Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was all full."

The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his precious little girl. He begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later. It is told that the father kept that little gold box by his bed for all the years of his life. Whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems he would open the box, take out an imaginary kiss, and remember the love of this beautiful child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as human beings have been given an invisible golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and God.

There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

 

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A Pair of Socks

One fine afternoon I was walking along Fifth Avenue, when I remembered that it was necessary to buy a pair of socks. I turned into the first sock shop that caught my eye, and a boy clerk who could not have been more than seventeen years old came forward. "What can I do for you, sir?" "I wish to buy a pair of socks." His eyes glowed. There was a note of passion in his voice. "Did you know that you had come into the finest place in the world to buy socks?" I had not been aware of that, as my entrance had been accidental. "Come with me," said the boy, ecstatically. I followed him to the rear of the shop, and he began to haul down from the shelves box after box, displaying their contents for my delectation.

"Hold on, lad, I am going to buy only one pair!" "I know that," said he, "but I want you to see how marvelously beautiful these are. Aren't they wonderful?" There was on his face an expression of solemn and holy rapture, as if he were revealing to me the mysteries of his religion. I became far more interested in him than in the socks. I looked at him in amazement. "My friend," said I, "if you can keep this up, if this is not merely the enthusiasm that comes from novelty, from having a new job, if you can keep up this zeal and excitement day after day, in ten years you will own every sock in the United States."

My amazement at his pride and joy in salesmanship will be easily understood by all who read this article. In many shops the customer has to wait for someone to wait upon him. And when finally some clerk does deign to notice you, you are made to feel as if you were interrupting him. Either he is absorbed in profound thought in which he hates to be disturbed or he is skylarking with a girl clerk and you feel like apologizing for thrusting yourself into such intimacy.

He displays no interest either in you or in the goods he is paid to sell. Yet possibly that very clerk who is now so apathetic began his career with hope and enthusiasm. The daily grind was too much for him; the novelty wore off; his only pleasures were found outside of working hours. He became a mechanical, not inspired, salesman. After being mechanical, he became incompetent; then he saw younger clerks who had more zest in their work, promoted over him. He became sour. That was the last stage. His usefulness was over.

I have observed this melancholy decline in the lives of so many men in so many occupations that I have come to the conclusion that the surest road to failure is to do things mechanically. There are many teachers in schools and colleges who seem duller than the dullest of their pupils; they go through the motions of teaching, but they are as impersonal as a telephone.

 

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One Finger

"Mom, you should put some of your things away. Baby proof this house," stated our oldest son Mark as he lumbered up the stairs followed by his wife, Kim, and fifteen－month－old Hannah.

Visiting for the Thanksgiving holiday, he finished unloading the luggage and took it to the guestroom downstairs. After driving all day from Salt Lake to Ft. Collins, his temper showed. "That one finger rule may work with the twins, but it'll never work with Hannah, " he insisted.

When my three granddaughters were born four months apart and the twins moved into our house at eight months, my close friend offered me her secret to entertaining grandchildren with few mishaps. "Teach them the 'one finger rule'." All of her five grandchildren learned it at a young age. The success of the method surprised me.

I picked up my granddaughter and said, "Well, Mark, you just watch." I hugged her and walked all around the great room.

"Hannah, you may touch anything in this room you want. But, you can only use one finger." I demonstrated the technique by touching my forefinger to the African sculpture on the mantle. Hannah followed my example. "Good girl. Now what else would you like to touch？"

She stretched her finger toward another object on the mantle. I allowed her to touch everything in sight, plants, glass objects, TV, VCR, lamps, speakers, candles and artificial flowers. If she started to grab, I gently reminded her to use one finger. She always obeyed. But, Hannah, an only child, possessed a more adventur ous personality. Her father predicted it would prevent her from accepting the"one finger"rule.

During their four-day stay, we aided Hannah in remembering"one finger"rule. She learned quickly. I only put away the things that might prove to be a danger to a child. Otherwise, we watched her closely and nothing appeared to suffer any damage. Besides, "things"can be replaced.

A few fingerprints on glass doors, windows and tables remained after Hannah and her family returned home. I couldn't bring myself to clean them for days. Each one reminded me of some wonderful experience with Hannah.

Months later, my husband and I drove to Salt Lake; I watched Mark and Kim continue to practice the one finger rule. But I refrained from saying, "I told you so." Yet, I smiled inwardly each time they prodded Hannah to touch with "one finger. " Mark, a salesman, always gave a packet of gifts to his potential clients. The night before we returned home, Mark sat on the floor stuffing gifts into their packets. Hannah helped.

Then she picked up one gift, held it in her hand as if it were a fragile bird, and walked toward me. At my knee, her beautiful blue eyes looked into mine. She stretched her prize to me and said, "One finger, Nana!"

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Hanover Square

Can it really be sixty-two years ago that I first saw you?

 

It is truly a lifetime, I know. But as I gaze into your eyes now, it seems like only yesterday that I first saw you, in that small café in Hanover Square.

From the moment I saw you smile, as you opened the door for that young mother and her newborn baby. I knew. I knew that I wanted to share the rest of my life with you.

I still think of how foolish I must have looked, as I gazed at you, that first time. I remember watching you intently, as you took off your hat and loosely shook your short dark hair with your fingers. I felt myself becoming immersed in your every detail, as you placed your hat on the table and cupped your hands around the hot cup of tea, gently blowing the steam away with your pouted lips.

From that moment, everything seemed to make perfect sense to me. The people in the café and the busy street outside all disappeared into a hazy blur. All I could see was you.

All through my life I have relived that very first day. Many, many times I have sat and thought about that the first day, and how for a few fleeting moments I am there, feeling again what is like to know true love for the very first time. It pleases me that I can still have those feelings now after all those years, and I know I will always have them to comfort me.

Not even as I shook and trembled uncontrollably in the trenches, did I forget your face. I would sit huddled into the wet mud, terrified, as the hails of bullets and mortars crashed down around me. I would clutch my rifle tightly to my heart, and think again of that very first day we met. I would cry out in fear, as the noise of war beat down around me. But, as I thought of you and saw you smiling back at me, everything around me would be become silent, and I would be with you again for a few precious moments, far from the death and destruction. It would not be until I opened my eyes once again, that I would see and hear the carnage of the war around me.

I cannot tell you how strong my love for you was back then, when I returned to you on leave in the September, feeling battered, bruised and fragile. We held each other so tight I thought we would burst. I asked you to marry me the very same day and I whooped with joy when you looked deep into my eyes and said "yes" to being my bride.

I'm looking at our wedding photo now, the one on our dressing table, next to your jewellery box. I think of how young and innocent we were back then. I remember being on the church steps grinning like a Cheshire cat, when you said how dashing and handsome I looked in my uniform. The photo is old and faded now, but when I look at it, I only see the bright vibrant colors of our youth. I can still remember every detail of the pretty wedding dress your mother made for you, with its fine delicate lace and pretty pearls. If I concentrate hard enough, I can smell the sweetness of your wedding bouquet as you held it so proudly for everyone to see.

I remember being so over enjoyed, when a year later, you gently held my hand to your waist and whispered in my ear that we were going to be a family.

I know both our children love you dearly; they are outside the door now, waiting.

Do you remember how I panicked like a mad man when Jonathon was born? I can still picture you laughing and smiling at me now, as I clumsily held him for the very first time in my arms. I watched as your laughter faded into tears, as I stared at him and cried my own tears of joy.

Sarah and Tom arrived this morning with little Tessie. Can you remember how we both hugged each other tightly when we saw our tiny granddaughter for the first time? I can't believe she will be eight next month. I am trying not to cry, my love, as I tell you how beautiful she looks today in her pretty dress and red shiny shoes, she reminds me so much of you that first day we met. She has her hair cut short now, just like yours was all those years ago. When I met her at the door her smile wrapped around me like a warm glove, just like yours used to do, my darling.

I know you are tired, my dear, and I must let you go. But I love you so much it hurts to do so.

As we grew old together, I would tease you that you had not changed since we first met. But it is true, my darling. I do not see the wrinkles and grey hair that other people see. When I look at you now, I only see your sweet tender lips and youthful sparkling eyes as we sat and had our first picnic next to that small stream, and chased each other around that big old oak tree. I remember wishing those first few days together would last forever. Do you remember how exciting and wonderful those days were?

I must go now, my darling. Our children are waiting outside. They want to say goodbye to you.

I wipe the tears away from my eyes and bend my frail old legs down to the floor, so that I can kneel beside you. I lean close to you and take hold of your hand and kiss your tender lips for the very last time.

Sleep peacefully my dear.

I am sad that you had to leave me, but please don't worry. I am content, knowing I will be with you soon. I am too old and too empty now to live much longer without you.

I know it won't be long before we meet again in that small café in Hanover Square.

Goodbye, my darling wife.

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To someone who is beautiful... all over

It is absolutely wonderful to have
someone in your life who is caring
and giving and gracious ― some whose
smiles are live sunshine and laughter
and whose words always seem to say
the things you most like to hear...
because those magical people are really
beautiful... inside.


And it is a special privilege to
know someone whose outward appearance
is a delight just to see ― someone who
lights up a room with radiance and
who lights up my little corner of the
world with a loveliness it has never
known before... because special people
like that are really beautiful... outside.


But most of all, it is one of the
world's most special blessings to
have a person in your life who can
add so much pleasure and such magnificence
to the days ― as you have to mine...
because you're someone who is beautiful...
all over.

― Andrew Tawney

献给那些永远漂亮的人

这是一件美妙的事情，在你的生命中存在着这样的一些人，他们关心你，为你付出，照顾你，他们的笑容让你如沐浴阳光，而他们所的话恰恰是你想听到的...

因为这些的内心就是美丽的。

我们很容易知道一个人的外表漂亮与否，他们用激情使我们的屋子充满活力，他们用爱心点亮我们心里的每一个角落，因为这样特别的人的确非常美丽，因为心灵美丽他的外表也就非常的美丽。

最重要的是世界上最幸福的事就是在你的生活里有这么一个人，它能够带来快乐和神奇的每一天。就像我拥有你...

因为你永远是世界上最美丽的

----安德鲁

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All Mum's letters

To this day I remember my mum's letters. It all started in December 1941. Every night she sat at the big table in the kitchen and wrote to my brother Johnny, who had been drafted that summer. We had not heard from him since the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.

I didn't understand why my mum kept writing Johnny when he never wrote back.

"Wait and see-we'll get a letter from him one day," she claimed. Mum said that there was a direct link from the brain to the written word that was just as strong as the light God has granted us. She trusted that this light would find Johnny.

I don't know if she said that to calm herself, dad or all of us down. But I do know that it helped us stick together, and one day a letter really did arrive. Johnny was alive on an island in the Pacific.

I had always been amused by the fact that mum signed her letters, "Cecilia Capuzzi", and I teased her about that. "Why don't you just write 'Mum'?" I said.

I hadn't been aware that she always thought of herself as Cecilia Capuzzi. Not as Mum. I began seeing her in a new light, this small delicate woman, who even in high-heeled shoes was barely one and a half meters tall.

She never wore make-up or jewelry except for a wedding ring of gold. Her hair was fine, sleek and black and always put up in a knot in the neck. She wouldn't hear of getting a haircut or a perm. Her small silver-rimmed pince-nez only left her nose when she went to bed.

Whenever mum had finished a letter, she gave it to dad for him to post it. Then she put the water on to boil, and we sat down at the table and talked about the good old days when our Italian-American family had been a family of ten: mum, dad and eight children. Five boys and three girls. It is hard to understand that they had all moved away from home to work, enroll in the army, or get married. All except me.

Around next spring mum had got two more sons to write to. Every evening she wrote three different letters which she gave to me and dad afterwards so we could add our greetings.

Little by little the rumour about mum's letters spread. One day a small woman knocked at our door. Her voice trembled as she asked: "Is it true you write letters?"

"I write to my sons."

"And you can read too?" whispered the woman.

"Sure."

The woman opened her bag and pulled out a pile of airmail letters. "Read… please read them aloud to me."

The letters were from the woman's son who was a soldier in Europe, a red-haired boy who mum remembered having seen sitting with his brothers on the stairs in front of our house. Mum read the letters one by one and translated them from English to Italian. The woman's eyes welled up with tears. "Now I have to write to him," she said. But how was she going to do it?

"Make some coffee, Octavia," mum yelled to me in the living room while she took the woman with her into the kitchen and seated her at the table. She took the fountain pen, ink and air mail notepaper and began to write. When she had finished, she read the letter aloud to the woman.

"How did you know that was exactly what I wanted to say?"

"I often sit and look at my boys' letters, just like you, without a clue about what to write."

A few days later the woman returned with a friend, then another one and yet another one--they all had sons who fought in the war, and they all needed letters. Mum had become the correspondent in our part of town. Sometimes she would write letters all day long.

Mum always insisted that people signed their own letters, and the small woman with the grey hair asked mum to teach her how to do it. "I so much want to be able to write my own name so that my son can see it." Then mum held the woman's hand in hers and moved her hand over the paper again and again until she was able to do it without her help.

After that day, when mum had written a letter for the woman, she signed it herself, and her face brightened up in a smile.

One day she came to us, and mum instantly knew what had happened. All hope had disappeared from her eyes. They stood hand in hand for a long time without saying a word. Then mum said: "We better go to church. There are certain things in life so great that we cannot comprehend them." When mum came back home, she couldn't get the red-haired boy out of her mind.

After the war was over, mum put away the pen and paper. "Finito," she said. But she was wrong. The women who had come to her for help in writing to their sons now came to her with letters from their relatives in Italy. They also came to ask her for her help in getting American citizenship.

On one occasion mum admitted that she had always had a secret dream of writing a novel. "Why didn't you?" I asked.

"All people in this world are here with one particular purpose," she said. "Apparently, mine is to write letters." She tried to explain why it absorbed her so.

"A letter unites people like nothing else. It can make them cry, it can make them laugh. There is no caress more lovely and warm than a love letter, because it makes the world seem very small, and both sender and receiver become like kings in their own kingdoms. My dear, a letter is life itself!"

Today all mum's letters are lost. But those who got them still talk about her and cherish the memory of her letters in their hearts.

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A Funny Memory

Oh God! I think I was about seven and half when my sisters and I pulled this stupid stunt. I remember watching television with them and the show on happened to be our favorite program to watch. All of a sudden we heard my brother, Chris, yelling from the backyard. So we all headed out there to see what happened. When we finally located him, he was in a tree hanging from the highest tree branch. Crying, he explained to us that he had climbed up the tree and couldn't get down. We thought, okay, one of us should climb up and get him off, but we couldn't manage to get him moving down.

It was then my youngest sister, Ka, who was five and a half at the time had seen a similar situation. She suggested we grab a sheet, hold it under the branch Chris was hanging off of, and tell him to drop so we can catch him. My other sister, Yams, who is one year younger than me, peered at me to confirm the idea and I said "Yeah, let's try that".

So we grabbed a sheet from the closet and went to hold it beneath the tree. Now mind you, the ages holding this blanket were ranging from seven and a half to five and a half, thus the sheet was probably being held up to our waist and also close to touching the ground. But we were confident it could work.

We looked up to Chris and he looked down at us a bit hesitant. I don't blame him the poor guy. It was then we told him to let go and to fall on his back. Chris looked at me and asked "Are you sure I'll land on the blanket?" Now, my brother at the age of four, had a cute squeaky voice. But because of a problem at birth with his tongue being a bit attached to the mouth, it came out more like this, "Ah you sho awill lan on da blanked?", "Yup!", I told him, "We're sure!" and he let go.

Now when I think about Chris letting go of that branch, I think of his faith in me and my sisters and I also think how stupid he was to trust us, cause when that boy let go he was in for a big surprise. Chris fell right through that sheet and landed right on his stomach. And no matter how tight we held on to the sheet, he still managed to get through.

We were shocked and a bit worried and we looked at the ground where he landed. This tiny seventy pound boy had made a hole right through the sheet and landed. He was positioned like one of those chalk drawings you find after a homicide, with one arm near the head another to the side and the knee bent a bit. We might as well have drawn an outline because he wasn't moving. So we bent down to check if he was still alive and when we asked him if he was okay he uttered these five words… "Ah stee hi da flow" in other words, "I still hit the floor!" Poor little man! But before you condemn us, Chris is fourteen now and he still bugs us about it, any tree he climbs he gets down on his own and, strangely, he wants to be a fireman when he grows up. Now he can write that he had personal experience about jumping and catching. See, no harm done…

 

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The Circus

Once, when I was a teenager, my father and I were standing in line to buy tickets for the circus. Finally, there was only one family between us and the ticket counter.

This family made a big impression on me. There were eight children, all probably under the age of 12. You could tell they didn't have a lot of money.

Their clothes were not expensive, but they were clean. The children were well-behaved, all of them standing in line, two-by-two behind their parents, holding hands. They were excitedly jabbering about the clowns, elephants, and other acts they would see that night.

One could sense they had never been to the circus before. It promised to be a highlight of their young lives. The father and mother were at the head of the pack, standing proud as could be.

The mother was holding her husband's hand, looking up at him as if to say, "You're my knight in shining armor."

He was smiling and basking in pride, looking back at her as if to reply, "You got that right."

The ticket lady asked the father how many tickets he wanted. He proudly responded, "Please let me buy eight children's tickets and two adult tickets so I can take my family to the circus."

The ticket lady quoted the price. The man's wife let go of his hand, her head dropped, and his lip began to quiver. The father leaned a little closer and asked, "How much did you say?"

The ticket lady again quoted the price. The man didn't have enough money.

How was he supposed to turn and tell his eight kids that he didn't have enough money to take them to the circus? Seeing what was going on, my dad put his hand in his pocket, pulled out a $20 bill and dropped it on the ground. (We were not wealthy in any sense of the word!)

My father reached down, picked up the bill, tapped the man on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, sir, this fell out of your pocket."

The man knew what was going on. He wasn't begging for a handout but certainly appreciated the help in a desperate, heartbreaking, embarrassing situation. He looked straight into my dad's eyes, took my dad's hand in both of his, squeezed tightly onto the $20 bill, and with his lip quivering and a tear running down his cheek, he replied, "Thank you, thank you, sir. This really means a lot to me and my family."

My father and I went back to our car and drove home. We didn't go to the circus that night, but we didn't go without.

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You never picked me last

"Dr. Carr! Is it you? Is it really you?" I turned from where I had been browsing in the bookstore to see a six-foot-six, muscular, good-looking, smiling, sandy-haired young man calling me.

"It's me, Dr. Carr! Gibby!"

"Gibby, it can't be. You're all grown up!"

Looking closer, I would have known those eyes anywhere: serious, intense, penetrating blue eyes. Yes, It was my Gibby, all right.

He leaned down to hug his former elementary principal, and my thoughts went back to that shy, overweight little boy who transferred to our school as he began the fifth grade. He was quiet and withdrawn then.

Gibby had a difficult time the first few months, as do many children when they enter a new school. Some of the boys teased him about his lack of athletic ability when he attempted to play games on the playground. Gibby wasn't coordinated and had difficulty keeping up. He always appeared to be stumbling over his shoestrings. Most of the time, he was. I would remind him, "Better tie your shoestrings, Son," and he'd reply, "Yes, ma'am, Dr. Carr."

Often I would watch the students playing at recess. I noticed that when they began to choose up sides for a game, serious little Gibby would usually be left standing alone. Several times I went out on the playground and said, "I never get to choose a team. May I?" The boys and girls would laugh at their principal who wanted to play, and say, "Okay, Dr. Carr, it's your turn!" I'd call out a few names and then, around the fourth or fifth spot, I'd call Gibby's name and a few others who never seemed to get selected by their peers. My team may not have been the best, but we were, by far, the happiest and definitely the most committed, determined, and loyal.

In the early spring of Gibby's fifth grade year, I held an exercise class on the playground during recess for anyone who wanted to tone up their winter-weary muscles. Girls flocked to this program, and so did a few boys. Gibby was one of those.

We began by walking briskly around the perimeter of the large playground. I led the pack and Gibby invariably brought up the rear, puffing and panting and tripping over his shoestrings. As my group circled, we would pass Gibby who was giving it his all, but nevertheless, lagging far behind. I'd call to him, "Good going, Gibby. Keep it up. You're getting the hang of it. Uh . . . Better tie your shoestrings, Son."

"Yes, ma'am, Dr. Carr," he said, breathing hard and trying to put on a happy face.

After a month, Gibby shed a few pounds and didn't huff and puff as much. He still tripped over his shoestrings, but he did keep up with the group much easier.

By the fifth week, we had as many boys in our exercise class as girls. I don't believe the boys were suddenly all that interested in their health, for it was about this time the girls decided to dress out in shorts. We added some floor exercises to our program and held this class in the gym. Gibby was right there, in the back row, stretching and bending, lifting and kicking, as intense as ever. Gibby never gave up or made excuses. The little fellow just wasn't a quitter. He tried harder than anyone, and I admired his spunk. Many of his classmates did too. In time, he gained confidence and began to smile and talk more. He wasn't the new kid anymore, and he began to make some solid friends.

Now, after all those years, here we were standing in the bookstore. My little Gibby towered over me.

"What are you doing here, Gibby?" I asked. "I heard you have moved to Georgia."

"Yes, Dr. Carr. I live in Atlanta now, and I'm division manager of a computer software company. I'm visiting my mom here this weekend," he replied.

"Well, you look good and sound happy, Gibby."

"I am happy, Dr. Carr. And I think of you often. You know, it was kinda hard for me to change schools back then and move to a new town, but you were real nice to me."

"Why, thank you, Gibby."

"Yeah, you were always laughing, and you made it fun to come to school," he said. "I'll never forget your exercise classes. You really made us work."

Then a big smile lit up his face as he continued, "But, Dr. Carr, you know the thing that I remember most about you?"

"I have no idea, Gibby. What was it?"

"Well," he said, as he stared at me with those deep blue eyes, "Whenever you got a chance to choose up sides on the playground, you never picked me last."

"Of course not, Gibby. You were one of my most determined players."

We hugged again and he said, "I'm married now, Dr. Carr. She's really nice and always laughing. Come to think of it, she's a lot like you. And the best thing about her is-from everyone in the world she could have married, she picked me. She picked me first!"

Tears flooded my eyes. I looked down to avoid his gaze and try to regain my control.

It was then that I noticed his shoes.

"Better tie your shoestrings," I mumbled, wiping away my tears with the back of my hand.

"Yes, ma'am, Dr. Carr," he replied, flashing that boyish grin.

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50 things that really matter

In my opinion, these things matter…

 

1. Listening enough to care and caring enough to listen.

2. Being a dreamer but not living in a dream world.

3. Saying "It doesn't matter" and meaning it.

4. Being a positive influence in any way possible, to as many as possible, for as long as I possibly can.

5. Balancing justice with mercy and fairness with common sense.

6. Being patient and patiently enduring.

7. Earning credibility instead of demanding compliance.

8. Valuing the wisdom of discernment, the danger of pleasure without restraint, and the joy of victory with integrity.

9. Being worthy of trust and trusting what's worthwhile.

10. Enjoying all things small and beautiful.

11. Words that heal.

12. Words that help.

13. And words that encourage.

14. Forgiving myself for what I've done and others for what they haven't.

15. Gaining what I desire without losing what I should gain.

16. Maintaining the passion of purpose while avoiding the pit falls of making hasty decisions with little or no discernment.

17. Watching "You've Got Mail" one more time.

18. Enjoying life for all it holds instead of holding out for all it has yet to become.

19. Giving praise without demands and encouragement without expectations.

20. Hugs.

21. Healing wounds.

22. And helping people realize their dreams.

23. Knowing when I can, can't and shouldn't.

24. Laughter for the sake of laughter!

25. Leading while not forgetting how to follow.

26. Honoring the honorable and avoiding the painful errors of the disgraceful.

27. Knowing the power of commitment, the rewards of self-discipline and the meaning of faith in myself and others.

28. Smiles -- lots of them.

29. Learning as much as I can for as long as I can.

30. Standing for what's right when everything's wrong, and saying "I'm wrong" when something's not right.

31. Letting the music play.

32. Knowing I can and seeking help when I can't.

33. Just doing nothing at just the right time.

34. Filling my mind with all that is excellent, truthful, full of hope, and worthy of thinking about again.

35. Kisses that say "I love you" more than "I need you."

36. Treasuring ideas for their untapped potential.

37. Caring.

38. Giving.

39. And having fun.

40. Refusing to believe lies about myself or others regardless of the source -- including what I hear from within.

41. Trusting enough to see good in people without blindly trusting in the goodness of all people.

42. Success without self-absorption.

43. Showing I know the difference between keeping the rules and listening with understanding.

44. Winning with dignity.

45. Losing with grace.

46. And learning from both.

47. Believing in all my possibilities -- and yours too!

48. Appreciating the wisdom of maturity and the beauty of childhood.

49. Avoiding the bondage of bitterness, the deceit of wealth without character, and the vanity of pride without gratefulness.

50. Loving for all I'm worth because in the end it's worth it all.

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Is packing important to you?

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold.

Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" He then stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and a wonderful family, but realizing his father was very old, he thought perhaps he should go to see him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make the arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago.

With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he was reading, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words… "PAID IN FULL".

How many times do we miss blessings because they are not packaged as we expected? I trust you enjoyed this. Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. Sometimes we don't realize the good fortune we have or we could have because we expect "the packaging" to be different. What may appear as bad fortune may in fact be the door that is just waiting to be opened.

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